I am also

writing a book. how grand is that. yippee, I have finally got a hang of the plot, I just have to fill up the pages for a grand grand fat novel to emerge from inside my mind.

Feeling extremely excited about it all.

lonavla

Never leaves me.

There is something about that haunted place that keeps coming back in my dreams. truth being told, I was working for this sad sad company and scouting the internet for pictures that could be used for the edit, when I had come across this picture, a snow clad mountainous region and three people with cameras and boom mikes etc, I had wished for one whole second despite the fact that I was in my dream city back then, that I be in a place like that, God sent me to Lonavla.
I have always maintained that whatever I have asked God, he has listened to my wishes. Maybe because I am the kind of person, who would never hurt a fly.
I am wishing for a job in Bombay nowadays.

Twas sucha

gala time I've decided to put on electronic paper.

It was the finale of Bigg Boss Bangla and the launch of Bigg Boss Hindi happening simultaneously.

What were the reasons for me being sad and decrepit. 

1. I had missed Papon playing live along with Kartik Das Baul and Anushree.

2. I had vowed not to smoke up on the studio roof.

3. The season was about to end.

4. My father was not well.

What were the tings I was happy about.

A lot of things.

I was happy about the prospect of getting to sleep for about two days at a stretch, finally. 

The editing corridor made me happy. I am calling it a corridor because it was. The air conditioners were not working because of some strange reason, the wide corridor had rooms on both the sides, the sound of the various different edits going on on the right and left hand sides of that corridor created a very sweet mayhem that was irritating for the editors, because the rooms could not be shut for want of fresh air, but for a very strange reason everyone was pretty excited. I was gliding through the corridor, sleep deprived and sad; until the rushes from the first day of shoot got in. 

I realized, I had not really missed Papon at all. I got to hear the rushes while trying to catch ten minutes of shut eye in a yellow room. The guy editing the opening sequence of Durga Dance inside that room was a good friend of mine who had attempted to flirt with me and had made me fall in love with him, because he had made a pass at me on a rainy Sunday morning, that had, somehow blown my mind. 

I have reached

the penultimate heights of being batshit crazy.
I have written a letter to my own self.

Dear Adrita

Stop feeling bad about the fb message group. So you had a crush on a guy that was, as a crush so massive that you had difficulty in letting go. But you have let go NOW and that is what is important. You need not feel embarrassed every time you check those videos. That guy is gone, you are in a different place. Its already dark here, the place where the guy is, its still bikel byala with the Sun shining strong. He is gone. GONE. So stop torturing your soul. Be happy about the childish amateur videos that you made. Whatever You did, you were honest. You said no lies. You did not mislead anyone into anything; God. You did not misbehave with anyone. You called her names but that was about HER. As far as the guy is concerned, this Adrita, as you clearly remember, this is not something that you have made up inside your mind. You were asked by him, “What do you want” and you replied “To have sex with you”.

Right? RIGHT??? RIGHT??????

Why did you want that Adrita? That and nothing else??? Because the guy had wanted that, having sex, some two months back.

Adrita, you do not get drunk, do you? If the guy had wanted that two months back merely because he was drunk and horny, that is his problem. Right? You know you were invariably crushing over him right? You did not go around telling anybody about it, because you do not do that.

Adrita, like you will remember, this very time last year, you were “pining” for another guy that you had “fallen in love with”.

How many guys have you crushed over Adrita. Just how many? This was the result of having studied in co-ed schools and colleges right?

Adrita, you have almost always pined for some guy or the other. What makes this guy a big deal, is that none of your former crushes have gotten horny and drunk or CONFIDENT enough to touch your aabrooo.

Please always remind yourself this, whenever you feel bad or embarrassed.

In October

I will be all of 27 years old. This fact is driving me a little crazy,

primarily because :-

I am not working.

I am dedicating this post to whining about how this makes me feel.

Sometimes it makes me feel good, because I remember all the things I have heard about how your twenties flash past you when you are too busy working your ass off, and one fine day you realize that ...ooops, you are thirty years old and all of your fun twenties years have gone by without you getting to even bat an eyelid. 

Now, about that, I quite agree with. 

I was doing a little bit of maths the other day and I realized that I have been working for fours years more or less; that made me feel a bit better about NOT working now, I said to myself -

Hey! its okay to take a break, since I have been through some dangerously traumatic times during the last year; it is actually okay if I take some time off and ....relax, essentially.

Sometimes I get a little bored but then, I am really the kind of person who can literally spend days at an end reading and watching random videos on youtube (sometimes I even make videos for youtube) and yes, I have been trying to write things as well.

So I keep reassuring myself that I am just bracing myself for the long battle ahead of me. am I making good use of my free time???

Absolutely, because I spend so much time sleeping !!!!!!!!